Quirky Critter Keeper Gifts

"You'll see, he's not a bad Master, but for some weird reason he insists on my sitting before I cross the road..."

"Cross-breeding oops #1." "The Cougadooodle"

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

Billy would watch his ant farm for hours on end.

Cat plays a golf shot from a litter box.

"It's a bit of a surprise. He has eaten people before, but only when he felt threatened. Your husband must have provoked him."

Unpopular Kids on Show and Tell Day.

Vodka

Woman welcomes back her cat but not its new kittens.

'Maybe I shouldn't have brought the termites,'

'Are you sure its a purbred?'

Thinks Bob: At last, the most practical house pet since the goldfish.

How did you get a talking gerbil? Long, long, long story. My mom was a geneticist. My dad was a zoologist. They were in love once, but they loved their science more, and grew far, far apart. To save the marriage, they joined forces and created a talking gerbil, Herbert. A tiny creature to cherish and solidify their bond. Run for your life. I pooped myself. 'Twas a fool's errand.

She envied her sometimes - all footloose and feline-free.

'I don't feel like there is anything to sing about.'

'We tried crossing a turkey with an octopus to get eight drumsticks, but it didn't quite work out!

"Pet peeves" "I fear the cat." "I fear the cat" "I fear the cat." "Fecced me."

How Platypuses Are Born

"Ya know, it wouldn’t kill you to bark."

Less Desirable Half-Women Half-Fish

That thing you threw up was only a hairball.

'I told you it was a stupid idea getting a pet lemming.'

'That's gotta be the muttiest mutt I've ever met.'

We have dog spas, dog motels, dog walkers, dog designer clothes...

"You can't let it worry you, Jamie. It's just one of those things in life no one can do anything about."

"Hey kids! - look what I found at the local animal shelter!"

Inbreeding Mishaps

'I wanted a parrot-Giles wanted organic fresh eggs,so we compromised...'

Weasal

"Things hadn't been the same for Binky since the goldfish hired a piranha bodyguard."

Medical Bird.

"You think I was conned buying him as a pedigree then?"

Snake

'Avant garde dog for sale.'

'He's a mixed breed.'