Creature Keeper Gifts

Billy would watch his ant farm for hours on end.

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

The Elliot Ness monster.

"Yeah, I'm moonlighting. It's a living."

"Yes, it's nice my husband has hoarded a fortune, but it would be nicer if he would let me spend some of it though..."

"It's a new year, and I have a brand new attitude. Which way is it to San Diego Sea World?"

'He was a handsome young prince when I married him.'

'New Age Dog Park' Dogs commune with Nature.

'Hello there, how y'doin'?'

"And what self respecting tabloid do you think is going to buy photos of Little Foot?"

"Which one is yours?"

'Jumbo waits for the tusk fairy'

"Don't blame me! Your profile said nothing about a seafood allergy."

A were-cow.

Cat plays a golf shot from a litter box.

"Oh, Irwin, I wish to god you'd get rid of that thing!"

Vodka

"Don't be such a baby. You're officially an endangered species, so I'm going to have to earmark you."

Woman welcomes back her cat but not its new kittens.

"Forget it, Larry. We’re not bringing it home."

'Rest assured, this hotel is second to none in providing for all the creature comforts.'

"He turns into this horrible thing every full moon!"

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Smith, but our tests show your child is a changeling left by the fairies."

"You don't look much like a werewolf."

You looked different during our video chat.

Love Hurts

"Mom, can I obliterate New Jersey? Pleeease, mom?"

A Centaur Taking A Shower

'Maybe I shouldn't have brought the termites,'

She envied her sometimes - all footloose and feline-free.

Another unconfirmed Loch Ness Monster sighting...

Humane Mouse Trap "It doesn't kill them,. It just makes them feel really guilty about inconveniencing you."

"Ahhhhh! Finally!" "Pssst. Don't do it. You're dreaming." "Don't go in there!"