Kitten Keeper Gifts

Woman welcomes back her cat but not its new kittens.

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

Billy would watch his ant farm for hours on end.

"I see a pretty lady who looks a lot like you....a very kind lady...and she's adopting what appears to be a box of adorable kittens!"

"Has anyone turned in a chicken?"

The Not So Wild West

Cat Boss

After bring your cat to work day, I ended up with 5 extra cats.

My Bowl Is Empty.

"Relax - it's just for a few days until they find a place of their own."

"He says he can quit anytime, but I'm starting to worry."

Vodka

"You're God-knows-where all day long, then at night you pounce on my head... this is not a relationship."

'I bought one and got one free! Best of all, they're both pregnant.'

"It's kittens."

'Maybe I shouldn't have brought the termites,'

'Coffee? Kitten?'

Before you feed him/After you feed him.

'Tootsie-pie is going to be spaded, just like Mother.'

She envied her sometimes - all footloose and feline-free.

'Well, you have people pox.'

Zen Kitten

"I had that fish for so long it evolved, climbed out of the bowl and walked away."

"Eggs, eggs, eggs...that Delia Smith's ruining my life."

"Darling, I can't sleep. I mean, what if the kitten should get it into his head to press that button of his?"

Up, Up, Up, Up....Down, Down, Down, Down...

'I think it's time we told kitty she was adopted.'

I tried thinking outside the box once. That was a big mistake!

God changes calendar page to a new geologic time period.

'Come on children, last one out's a rotten egg.'

Cat coming out of a maternity ward.