Kitten Keeper Gifts

Woman welcomes back her cat but not its new kittens.

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

Billy would watch his ant farm for hours on end.

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

He acts all cool and feral until the can of food comes out. Jingle jingle jingle.

"I see a pretty lady who looks a lot like you....a very kind lady...and she's adopting what appears to be a box of adorable kittens!"

"Has anyone turned in a chicken?"

The Not So Wild West

Hell No Kitty

Cat plays a golf shot from a litter box.

After bring your cat to work day, I ended up with 5 extra cats.

Cat Boss

My Bowl Is Empty.

'Please bow your head and cough. I need to check your hairballs.'

"You're God-knows-where all day long, then at night you pounce on my head... this is not a relationship."

'I bought one and got one free! Best of all, they're both pregnant.'

"Relax - it's just for a few days until they find a place of their own."

Vodka

"He says he can quit anytime, but I'm starting to worry."

"It's kittens."

'Maybe I shouldn't have brought the termites,'

'Coffee? Kitten?'

Before you feed him/After you feed him.

Zen Kitten

"I had that fish for so long it evolved, climbed out of the bowl and walked away."

'Well, you have people pox.'

"Darling, I can't sleep. I mean, what if the kitten should get it into his head to press that button of his?"

She envied her sometimes - all footloose and feline-free.

'Tootsie-pie is going to be spaded, just like Mother.'

Up, Up, Up, Up....Down, Down, Down, Down...

"Eggs, eggs, eggs...that Delia Smith's ruining my life."

'Come on children, last one out's a rotten egg.'

'I think it's time we told kitty she was adopted.'

God changes calendar page to a new geologic time period.

Kitten Futures