Kitty Custodians Gifts

Litter tray cat.

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

He acts all cool and feral until the can of food comes out. Jingle jingle jingle.

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"

The Cat Spa

'Settle an argument. Which is better incessant barking or meowing?'

"I see a pretty lady who looks a lot like you....a very kind lady...and she's adopting what appears to be a box of adorable kittens!"

Bathroom Fairy

"Not guilty?"

Whittler's Mother.

"Before you go anywhere, did you lick behind your ears?"

'I really hate cleaning this thing.'

The Not So Wild West

Hell No Kitty

'I want to find out what the formula was I wrote yesterday on the blackboard and was erased by the custodian.'

"There's no money in your uncle's will. You are, however, directed to maintain his 5 cats and Facebook account."

Cat plays a golf shot from a litter box.

"If you need anything in the building, just call the super. This is the only known photo of him."

After bring your cat to work day, I ended up with 5 extra cats.

"After being shorted on his bonus, Earl the maintenance man decided to remove all the toilet paper from the executive washrooms."

'Yes, you were abandoned. But then I adopted you. Why are you still taking it out on my couch?'

"I hate all the paperwork there is with this job."

My Bowl Is Empty.

'Wait a minute - isn't this one yours and that one mine?'

"You're God-knows-where all day long, then at night you pounce on my head... this is not a relationship."

"And to think NASA hit a target 11 million kilometres away."

"Relax - it's just for a few days until they find a place of their own."

'Please bow your head and cough. I need to check your hairballs.'

"It's just me, the algae-eater. Mind if I tidy up a bit in here?"

"He says he can quit anytime, but I'm starting to worry."

Superintendent

Woman welcomes back her cat but not its new kittens.

'Why should I look forward to the weekend? Rake leaves, clean out the gutters, mend the fence, wash the car...'

Before you feed him/After you feed him.