Kitty Caregiver Gifts

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

'Harriet - We outlasted him!'

"Have you made any retirement plans?"

"And as soon as he's on the mend,we'll get the physiotherapist in here with a ball of twine."

He acts all cool and feral until the can of food comes out. Jingle jingle jingle.

Dog on man's stair lift

And you will know it has all be worth it when he's up and about again.

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

The Cat Spa

"I see a pretty lady who looks a lot like you....a very kind lady...and she's adopting what appears to be a box of adorable kittens!"

'Settle an argument. Which is better incessant barking or meowing?'

'You knew all the time that we were inseparable.'

The Not So Wild West

'I really hate cleaning this thing.'

"Before you go anywhere, did you lick behind your ears?"

Hell No Kitty

"There's no money in your uncle's will. You are, however, directed to maintain his 5 cats and Facebook account."

'He won't eat his lettuce until I've washed it five times. I'm sure his OCD is getting worse!'

" ... then subtract 75 pounds for the cat ... "

After bring your cat to work day, I ended up with 5 extra cats.

Rex the Dog.

My Bowl Is Empty.

'Yes, you were abandoned. But then I adopted you. Why are you still taking it out on my couch?'

'Wait a minute - isn't this one yours and that one mine?'

"He says he can quit anytime, but I'm starting to worry."

'Please bow your head and cough. I need to check your hairballs.'

"Relax - it's just for a few days until they find a place of their own."

Listen, they're all the same - It's ok if they touch each other.

'Tootsie-pie is going to be spaded, just like Mother.'

Humane Mouse Trap "It doesn't kill them,. It just makes them feel really guilty about inconveniencing you."

Zen Kitten

Before you feed him/After you feed him.

'Do you have any duck tape?'

'Doctor Cameron, how fast! In the bladder already!'

I'm going to tell you what I tell all my patients: Take more walks, get more sleep, and it wouldn't hurt to yell at the mail courier once in a while.