Comedy Critter Keeper Gifts

"You think I was conned buying him as a pedigree then?"

"If you ask me, wearing these things only makes them nervous."

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

Billy would watch his ant farm for hours on end.

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

They still don't get it, do they? They can't see we're aping them!

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

Cat plays a golf shot from a litter box.

Vodka

Servant Painting Targets Around Arrows Shot by a King

'Maybe I shouldn't have brought the termites,'

'It's not art - I just overfed my goldfish!'

She envied her sometimes - all footloose and feline-free.

Worm Appreciation Society!

Humane Mouse Trap "It doesn't kill them,. It just makes them feel really guilty about inconveniencing you."

Boy has swallowed marbles thinking they are sweets

"Everything I had in my shell is now on my tablet."

'Well, it wasn't me.'

"I'm retired now"

'You just stood there and let them put a bell on you? -- What were you THINKING?'

Strictly Ornamental.

"Hi, we're Indri Lemurs and we'd like to become EU members because we're an endangered species! Until then please send us some weapons so we can defend ourselves against extinction!"

That thing you threw up was only a hairball.

"My dad works in surveillance."

'If he has worms can we take him fishing?'

'Well, I still say he looks nothing like me!'

"You'll see, he's not a bad Master, but for some weird reason he insists on my sitting before I cross the road..."

'She saved the best for last!'

Cat and Mouse

Insect Insults.

"He was very old and quite sick."

"I DID hold it tight! You oulled too hard!"

'What makes you think he's got worms?'

Animal protection