Critter Comedian Gifts

Insect Insults.

'You just stood there and let them put a bell on you? -- What were you THINKING?'

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

"No no, I said sit!!"

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

"If you ask me, wearing these things only makes them nervous."

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

The Rooster Comedian.

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

Tiny dog catches frisbee that spins him around in circles.

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

'Jurassic Pork.'

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

Cat Reunion

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

Hats and Food

"Yes, one is a dog."

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

"Scuba cow"

Obedience School Graduation

His Master's Thesis.

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

Dogs life

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

Woman leaves dog in rain...he gets into a car to wait in the dry.