Critter Commentator Gifts

'I don't know, Al... A dumpster in the middle of the woods! Seems kind of fishy to me.'

Bird Watcher's Club of America

'Let's be frank. Perky isn't right for you.'

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

"Do you think the birds like me?"

Egguy JUMP!! 62 Eggs like this. Gr'Egg LOL. M'Egg OMG so funny!!!!! 3.

"Why do people talk about a rat's nest like it's a bad thing?"

Expressions of mystery.

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comment section just solved the Middle East crisis."

Stu just wanted to participate in the outdoor art class. . . alone. . . but Bob went ahead and invited himself anyway. . .

"Frankenstein? Isn't the story of a being made from the parts of others a little far-fetched?" "I find it very believable."

'No, I'm not writing to Santa, I'm writing a blog questioning the validity of Santa, since he has no web presence.'

'Illegal immigrants, if you ask me.'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- it's hard to believe we're related.'

"What should I say this is about?"

'I like it.'

"And with that being said Polly became dinner." "Polly wanna cracker?" "Polly wanna piece of yo mama's sweet behind." "Oh boy..."

Dog's Loo

"You're not fooling me. I can spot 'fake mews'."

"No sense of smell, ears plugged and eyes fixed on their phones. I'm telling you, if I weren't domesticated I'd be all over that."

'A shocking report shows more marriages are ending in divorce than decapitation. Could this be the end of traditional marriage, as we know it? More on that. . .after the break!'

Yeah, I'm standing here alone yelling a bunch of nonsense. If I had a cell phone, you wouldn't bother me!

Unsocial Networking.

"You're not supposed to answer her when she talks to us."

The Phenomenon of Absolute Power, Expressed as a Geometric Curve.

"I'm starting a Kickstarter campaign to fund a rival to Kickstarter."

"For crying out loud! It’s empty!!"

Dogs at Dog Show Judging the Judges.

"Hurry - get the family. I think he's about to communicate his final angry retweet."

"I'm getting old. . . I only got 17 hate comments!"

"I'll be the superhero—you be the guy arguing about him online."

Rudy, be reasonable. We can't have a functioning media if everyone starts putting up their own stories on the web. We need professional ethics. We need editing. We need fact-checking. We need

'I've had four litters and I don't get as much as a head butt on Mothers Day.'

'He's switched from tweeting on Twitter to growling on a new social media site called Growler. Suits him better.'