Cat Commentator Gifts

"He's into binge fetching."

"CATS LOVE IT?! Who in the world writes this nonsense?"

Cat Reunion

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

Cat holds sign which says - Will purr for food.

"Projectile hairballing."

"But some of my best ideas come while I'm in the litter box."

Litter Box Logistics Ltd.

'Yeah, I'm a mouser.'

Cat laughs at 'Ameowsing Cat Jokes.'

'I'm a lap cat. So, naturally I prefer a laptop.'

"In other news a new study indicates dogs are still better than cats."

'Oh, this will be good! He just putted into a sand trap...our litter box.'

"I hate it..."

"You will meet a tall, mysterious stranger — you will rub fur on his pant leg."

'Oh no! That's not litter! It's quicksand!!'

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: The Pied Piper

"What SPF sunscreen do you suggest for lying around in a sunny spot?"

"Ever wonder where all those cat videos come from?"

Cat Lover's Leap.

'How long have you had this obsessive hatred of cats?'

The Curiosity Mars rover is seen killing a cat: 'Mission accomplished.'

Man asks haughty looking cat: "And how, exactly, do you qualify as a spokesman for the feline community?"

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Balloon

Owner Rolls Out Red Carpet For Large Cat

'Who did you have lick your hair?'

"Each of my previous books had nine editions."

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comment section just solved the Middle East crisis."

"He says he can quit anytime, but I'm starting to worry."

'According to the latest data, our social media post rankings are staying fairly consistent with consumers, hovering just below cat shaming memes.'

Before you feed him/After you feed him.

101 uses of a dead cat: peg leg