Wildlife Commentator Gifts

'Yes, it's not often you see them in the open.'

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

"Happy Gnu Year!"

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

'Whup - giant anaconda about to attack - quick Peg, hand me something to take care of it with.'

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

"Too much concealer?"

"I'd kill for a fresh fruit fritter."

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

"Eat me"

Burmese pythons discussing a complete invasion.

'Don't worry about getting lost, folks. These trails are all well marked. . . if I do say so myself.'

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

'Pray for me.'

Civilized Salmon

Giraffe Portrait

'Our family has a dry sense of humor, and we don't laugh that much.'

'I don't know about the ecosystem, but the economy seems to be on the upswing.'

'Aw,hunting season is a cleansing time. A time to forget about my worries...'

'You know, after a long hard winter, I just HATE eating out of cans.'

"You never laugh at my jokes... "

Caliologist

'I wanted a change in decor.'

David Attenborough's Morning

Crow and fox

"Only 150 kids? - Have you considered fertility treatment?"

The different taste regions on a blue whale's tongue.

"Don't worry, it's not rabies: It's normal for me to foam at the mouth..."

'...And if that doesn't work, grab your rifle and start blasting away.'

'You're not alone, Mr. Scrapp. A lot of hyenas are sensitive to laughter in the bedroom.'

'I didn't have time to hunt'

"Killer? Is that what they call us? Eh don't say killer tiger or killer charm or killer wolf."

"Do screen doors just keep insects out, or other things too?"