Wildlife Comedic Observer Gifts

'I'm just outside feeding the birds.'

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

"I'd kill for a fresh fruit fritter."

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

"Too much concealer?"

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

'Whup - giant anaconda about to attack - quick Peg, hand me something to take care of it with.'

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

Burmese pythons discussing a complete invasion.

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

'Pray for me.'

Giraffe Portrait

Penguin

'You know, after a long hard winter, I just HATE eating out of cans.'

"You never laugh at my jokes... "

'I wanted a change in decor.'

Crow and fox

"Don't worry, it's not rabies: It's normal for me to foam at the mouth..."

The different taste regions on a blue whale's tongue.

'I didn't have time to hunt'

"Why do humming birds hum? Because they don't know the lyrics."

I know you do your mating dance just to embarrass the kids.

The cat's pyjamas - cat camouflage.

"Do screen doors just keep insects out, or other things too?"

The polar bear's vending machine.

A polar bear has slipped and is sprawled out on the ice next to a yellow caution sign that features a slipping figure.

'Bernie, you're not gonna have anything disgusting to hurl at zoo visitors if you forget this.'

"Man, what I wouldn't do for one of those free-range meals right now."

"Fasten your seat belt."

"I hate hibernating! All our devices need updating. And now we need to go through a thousand phone and text messages."

'I don't see how you can breathe through that thing - it's so small!'

'This will teach them to clean up after themselves after they camp in our woods!'