Comedy Critter Gifts

'You're giving a mating call yet holding a rifle - I'm getting some pretty mixed signals here, buddy!'

"If you ask me, wearing these things only makes them nervous."

Creepy Crawly Insect Phobia.

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

Bubble gum leaves

"Ok, let's get those knuckles up off the ground, arms way up high now, feet wide apart. . ."

Cat Reunion

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

"He was into feet, but, unforunately, not duck feet."

Cat holds sign which says - Will purr for food.

"Will you stop telling me to feed the Zebras? We just ate the zebras!"

"You're missing the whole gestalt of Frisbee!"

'I can tell you one thing, Madam. These ears have been neglected...

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

"I hate it..."

Dog traps the postman.

Litter Tray Stonehenge

'Oh, this will be good! He just putted into a sand trap...our litter box.'

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

'Yeah, I'm a mouser.'

Litter Box Logistics Ltd.

Cat Boss

"Fuhgettaboutit, Charley. Ya been fixed."

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

"Ever wonder where all those cat videos come from?"

Fish swimming in a pint of beer.

'Who did you have lick your hair?'

'I refuse to believe that Winkie was a terrorist.'

"The party was a total surprise! Everybody jumped out and screamed 'Happy Birthday' just as I was licking my balls!"

"He's a rescue, and before that he was in Vaudeville."

"Come on... you love knocking things off the counter!"

Man asks haughty looking cat: "And how, exactly, do you qualify as a spokesman for the feline community?"

Servant Painting Targets Around Arrows Shot by a King

"Can I barrow your pen?"