Comedy Critter Pillows

'You're giving a mating call yet holding a rifle - I'm getting some pretty mixed signals here, buddy!'

"If you ask me, wearing these things only makes them nervous."

Creepy Crawly Insect Phobia.

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

"Ok, let's get those knuckles up off the ground, arms way up high now, feet wide apart. . ."

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

Cat Reunion

Bubble gum leaves

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

"You're missing the whole gestalt of Frisbee!"

"Will you stop telling me to feed the Zebras? We just ate the zebras!"

"He was into feet, but, unforunately, not duck feet."

Cat holds sign which says - Will purr for food.

'I can tell you one thing, Madam. These ears have been neglected...

'Yeah, I'm a mouser.'

Dog traps the postman.

Litter Box Logistics Ltd.

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

'Oh, this will be good! He just putted into a sand trap...our litter box.'

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

"I hate it..."

"Fuhgettaboutit, Charley. Ya been fixed."

Cat Boss

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

"Ever wonder where all those cat videos come from?"

Fish swimming in a pint of beer.

"The party was a total surprise! Everybody jumped out and screamed 'Happy Birthday' just as I was licking my balls!"

'Who did you have lick your hair?'

'I refuse to believe that Winkie was a terrorist.'

"He's a rescue, and before that he was in Vaudeville."

"Come on... you love knocking things off the counter!"

Man asks haughty looking cat: "And how, exactly, do you qualify as a spokesman for the feline community?"

Servant Painting Targets Around Arrows Shot by a King

Before you feed him/After you feed him.

'Let's do the Good Dog, Bad Dog routine.'