Comedy Critter Fan Pillows

'She saved the best for last!'

"Hi, we're Indri Lemurs and we'd like to become EU members because we're an endangered species! Until then please send us some weapons so we can defend ourselves against extinction!"

"If you ask me, wearing these things only makes them nervous."

"Ok, let's get those knuckles up off the ground, arms way up high now, feet wide apart. . ."

Bubble gum leaves

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

Pet Entertainers

'Oh come on! I can't be that bad!'

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

Paging for a Doctor

Dog traps the postman.

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

'Hey, you could get arrested for doing stuff like... Oh, you ARE getting arrested.'

"Come on... you love knocking things off the counter!"

'I refuse to believe that Winkie was a terrorist.'

Dog Realtor

Servant Painting Targets Around Arrows Shot by a King

'Your manuscript was delicious.'

"Everything I had in my shell is now on my tablet."

"That's the pill I gave the cat this afternoon!"

Joe Hundredaire

"And with that being said Polly became dinner." "Polly wanna cracker?" "Polly wanna piece of yo mama's sweet behind." "Oh boy..."

"I didn't want him growing up to be like his father."

'Bring back my crystal ball!'

'I know it's your bed, but she's our guest. Sorry, sweetie, but you're going to have to sleep on the couch.'

Dog makes cats float with helium.

Cat Chores

"He's a bird-dog."

'Yes, I did watch three pay-per-view movies while you were gone. Just how long did you expect a ball of yarn to entertain me?'

Gatorade!

I can't come in today. I haven't got chronic diarrhoea!

'Why's he digging up these flowers?'

Jerry Springer Spaniel

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Air Craft Carrier

Crufts "If you can read this you are too close"