Comedy Cat Gifts

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

"If you ask me, wearing these things only makes them nervous."

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

Cat Reunion

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

"What we're looking for is someone who think outside the box?"

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

Cat holds sign which says - Will purr for food.

"Projectile hairballing."

"But some of my best ideas come while I'm in the litter box."

Cat Zoom Meeting

'Oh, this will be good! He just putted into a sand trap...our litter box.'

'Yeah, I'm a mouser.'

'What? I'm scratching the sofa! I'm not! And if I was? It's your fault!'

"I hate it..."

Litter Box Logistics Ltd.

'Oh no! That's not litter! It's quicksand!!'

"What SPF sunscreen do you suggest for lying around in a sunny spot?"

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: The Pied Piper

Cat Lover's Leap.

"Ever wonder where all those cat videos come from?"

'I don't mind you singing, but I draw the line at your banjo playing.'

'Who did you have lick your hair?'

Owner Rolls Out Red Carpet For Large Cat

Santa Claws...

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Balloon

Man asks haughty looking cat: "And how, exactly, do you qualify as a spokesman for the feline community?"

The Curiosity Mars rover is seen killing a cat: 'Mission accomplished.'

"He says he can quit anytime, but I'm starting to worry."

'According to the latest data, our social media post rankings are staying fairly consistent with consumers, hovering just below cat shaming memes.'

'You know, if you cleaned the litter box more often, you wouldn't have to wear the hazmat suit.'