Comedy Cat Owner Gifts

"Don't mention hair loss."

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

Dog Dressed to Eat

Cat Reunion

"If he tries to dip, Mrs. Callister, you mustn't hesitate to use the choke chain."

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

Cat holds sign which says - Will purr for food.

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

"Projectile hairballing."

"But some of my best ideas come while I'm in the litter box."

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

"I hate it..."

'What? I'm scratching the sofa! I'm not! And if I was? It's your fault!'

Litter Box Logistics Ltd.

'Yeah, I'm a mouser.'

'Oh, this will be good! He just putted into a sand trap...our litter box.'

Litter Tray Stonehenge

'Sometimes I feel sorry for those little baitfish, don't you, Ben?'

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: The Pied Piper

"What SPF sunscreen do you suggest for lying around in a sunny spot?"

"Ever wonder where all those cat videos come from?"

Cat Lover's Leap.

"Bad Dog!!! You can't trust those chocolate labs."

"He says he can quit anytime, but I'm starting to worry."

Man asks haughty looking cat: "And how, exactly, do you qualify as a spokesman for the feline community?"

'Who did you have lick your hair?'

The Curiosity Mars rover is seen killing a cat: 'Mission accomplished.'

'The butler did it.'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Balloon

"Keep your guard up. We're entering big-cat country."

"Oh, God, am I housebroken."