Comedy Cat Owner Gifts

"Don't mention hair loss."

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

Dog Dressed to Eat

Cat Reunion

"If he tries to dip, Mrs. Callister, you mustn't hesitate to use the choke chain."

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

"Projectile hairballing."

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

Cat holds sign which says - Will purr for food.

"But some of my best ideas come while I'm in the litter box."

Litter Box Logistics Ltd.

'What? I'm scratching the sofa! I'm not! And if I was? It's your fault!'

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

'Yeah, I'm a mouser.'

'Oh, this will be good! He just putted into a sand trap...our litter box.'

"I hate it..."

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: The Pied Piper

'Sometimes I feel sorry for those little baitfish, don't you, Ben?'

"What SPF sunscreen do you suggest for lying around in a sunny spot?"

"Ever wonder where all those cat videos come from?"

Cat Lover's Leap.

"He says he can quit anytime, but I'm starting to worry."

The Curiosity Mars rover is seen killing a cat: 'Mission accomplished.'

'Who did you have lick your hair?'

Man asks haughty looking cat: "And how, exactly, do you qualify as a spokesman for the feline community?"

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Balloon

'The butler did it.'

"Keep your guard up. We're entering big-cat country."

"Well, if it wasn't you who meowed, and it certainly wasn't me who meowed...then...who...meowed?"

"Oh, God, am I housebroken."