Cat Owner With A Quirky Sense Of Humor Gifts

101 uses of a dead cat: TV aerial.

"We have to take that science away from Tommy...he's genetically modified the cat!"

Schrodinger's Black Box

Schrödinger and his cat

"Odd, since neither of us overfeeds her by even the smallest amount."

"Projectile hairballing."

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

'In the alternate universe I've come up with, everything would be exactly the same except cats would bark.'

Cat laughs at 'Ameowsing Cat Jokes.'

"You will meet a tall, mysterious stranger — you will rub fur on his pant leg."

"What> Fitness isn't a destination, it's a way of life."

'I want to talk about your efforts to increase sales, Robert.'

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

"Bad Dog!!! You can't trust those chocolate labs."

'The butler did it.'

"No thank you - The people who live here, worship me. . !!"

Man asks haughty looking cat: "And how, exactly, do you qualify as a spokesman for the feline community?"

"Each of my previous books had nine editions."

"Relax, it's cat fishing lure. I'm hoping to catch a dogfish."

'I do some light mousework for them in return for room and board.'

"Space is not for pussies!"

'You know, if you cleaned the litter box more often, you wouldn't have to wear the hazmat suit.'

Curiosity discovers life on Mars

Cat Desk Organizers: In, Out, Eat, Sleep.

'I wouldn't have brought the cat if I'd know he had to be naked too.'

"Here he comes! Don't move."

"He would rather die than salivate!"

'God! This tastes like cats...'

'How's your new fish?'

'Better get used to it. I was just appointed to nine life terms to the bench.'

Man and his dog both reading Mockingbird books.

101 uses of a dead cat: desk spike

Bad Dog

"You'd think having nine lives, we'd be better at retirement planning."

"Schrödinger's other cat"