Comedic Critter Gifts

Brenda lost not only the egg toss, but something much, much more.

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"If you ask me, wearing these things only makes them nervous."

"Why can't you just dig things up like normal dogs?"

"I can't even remember what we were fighting about."

Man wearing T-Shirt saying 'Dog's Best Friend'

"I think what he's trying to tell you, dear, is that he doesn't quite care for the cheaper dog food!"

"Come on... you love knocking things off the counter!"

Santa Claws...

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."

Servant Painting Targets Around Arrows Shot by a King

"Oh, God, am I housebroken."

"You'd like a second opinion? Okay, I think you should stay off the furniture too."

'You look lovely, but we need to lengthen your train a bit...'

"I only know 'Sit' and 'Stay.' "

'You see these things, you don't bite them, you suck them out...'

'Pointless Pets: A ceramic tiled giraffe.'

"Pet peeves" "I fear the cat." "I fear the cat" "I fear the cat." "Fecced me."

Gatorade!

'There's no evidence use of steroids will improve dog show performance.'

'We would like you to accompany us to the station, sir!'

'You think one is tough, try raising two!'

'Not me...I'm watching my cholesterol!'

Using balloons to weigh less.

'Well, I don't happen to believe you went there.'

'Holy S**t!'

'Clown fish ... '

'He's a nice guy, but he doesn't bite, if you know what I mean.'

'He can do 'roll over' and 'beg,' but he does 'sit' best.'

'They got me for 'hate-texting.''

"What is it with you and your baggy clothes?"

"It was too good to be true when the old cat died! They're just back from the shelter with a kitten..."

"We're in for the night."

'I sent Ben to fly fishing school, now he's a menace to the whole stream!'

"It's finally fur coat weather."