Comedic Critter Enthusiast Gifts

"Come on... you love knocking things off the counter!"

"Why can't you just dig things up like normal dogs?"

"I have a couple of other projects I'm excited about."

Unpopular Kids on Show and Tell Day.

"You're amazing!"

"Oh, God, am I housebroken."

'Are you sure its a purbred?'

'You look lovely, but we need to lengthen your train a bit...'

Rat interviewed on a Sports Chatshow.

"I want you to be open and honest and to not leave any hair on the couch."

Brenda lost not only the egg toss, but something much, much more.

Husband's worst pet - Easily Trained to nag.

"Hmm, over-oaked chardonnay! My kind of wine!"

"You're not a bad dog for driving. You're a bad dog for not wearing a seat belt."

'Pointless Pets: A ceramic tiled giraffe.'

"Pet peeves" "I fear the cat." "I fear the cat" "I fear the cat." "Fecced me."

Gatorade!

Smart Asp

''Have you got any cockroaches?"

'That's gotta be the muttiest mutt I've ever met.'

"Hi, we're Indri Lemurs and we'd like to become EU members because we're an endangered species! Until then please send us some weapons so we can defend ourselves against extinction!"

'There's no evidence use of steroids will improve dog show performance.'

'You think one is tough, try raising two!'

'Not me...I'm watching my cholesterol!'

'Holy S**t!'

'Clown fish ... '

'I sent Ben to fly fishing school, now he's a menace to the whole stream!'

"It was too good to be true when the old cat died! They're just back from the shelter with a kitten..."

"It's finally fur coat weather."

"My owner's been teaching me how to beg. . . I've made £30 today!"

"We're in for the night."

'Hurray! Ants!'

'He's a nice guy, but he doesn't bite, if you know what I mean.'

New Umpire Signals

'It's just not fair! Now that he's joined the gym, he's too tired to go on walks with me...'