Comedic Cats Gifts

Bobby never understood the birds and the bees, but the monkeys made perfect sense.

Santa Claws...

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

"Why can't you just dig things up like normal dogs?"

"I have a couple of other projects I'm excited about."

'You'll be getting $5,000 worth of doggy treats this week. If your owner sees the charge on his credit card, you don't know me.'

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

Man wearing T-Shirt saying 'Dog's Best Friend'

"I think what he's trying to tell you, dear, is that he doesn't quite care for the cheaper dog food!"

"Come on... you love knocking things off the counter!"

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."

'I'm not an indoor cat. I'm a bitter, angry, frustrated, resentful, repressed cat.'

"I've been feeling needy and it's got me worried."

'Do you have to do that every time?'

"Oh, God, am I housebroken."

'You look lovely, but we need to lengthen your train a bit...'

"You'd like a second opinion? Okay, I think you should stay off the furniture too."

Brenda lost not only the egg toss, but something much, much more.

"Pet peeves" "I fear the cat." "I fear the cat" "I fear the cat." "Fecced me."

"I only know 'Sit' and 'Stay.' "

"And how long have you had this superiority complex?"

"I want you to be open and honest and to not leave any hair on the couch."

'Pointless Pets: A ceramic tiled giraffe.'

Gatorade!

'Well, I don't happen to believe you went there.'

'There's no evidence use of steroids will improve dog show performance.'

'You think one is tough, try raising two!'

'Not me...I'm watching my cholesterol!'

'Holy S**t!'

'Clown fish ... '

'I sent Ben to fly fishing school, now he's a menace to the whole stream!'

'He can do 'roll over' and 'beg,' but he does 'sit' best.'

'He's a nice guy, but he doesn't bite, if you know what I mean.'

"It was too good to be true when the old cat died! They're just back from the shelter with a kitten..."