Kitty Comedian Gifts

"That was funny maybe three cats ago."

'We named him 'Raisin Bran.' Every morning in the litter box, it's two scoops!'

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

Cat Reunion

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

Diving Cat.

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

'Oh come on! I can't be that bad!'

"Will you stop telling me to feed the Zebras? We just ate the zebras!"

"There HAS to be a giant ball at the end of all this string."

"You're missing the whole gestalt of Frisbee!"

"Projectile hairballing."

Cat holds sign which says - Will purr for food.

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

"What we're looking for is someone who think outside the box?"

'I can tell you one thing, Madam. These ears have been neglected...

"But some of my best ideas come while I'm in the litter box."

Litter Tray Stonehenge

'Oh, this will be good! He just putted into a sand trap...our litter box.'

'I'm a lap cat. So, naturally I prefer a laptop.'

'Yeah, I'm a mouser.'

Litter Box Logistics Ltd.

"I hate it..."

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: The Pied Piper

"What SPF sunscreen do you suggest for lying around in a sunny spot?"

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

"GPS? In case we get lost? Why would we need that? We're microchipped."

"Ever wonder where all those cat videos come from?"

Fish swimming in a pint of beer.

'I don't mind you singing, but I draw the line at your banjo playing.'

The Curiosity Mars rover is seen killing a cat: 'Mission accomplished.'

"He's a rescue, and before that he was in Vaudeville."

Owner Rolls Out Red Carpet For Large Cat

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Balloon

Cat on a psychiatrist's couch: 'Truth is, I'm not really a cat person.'