Kitty Comedic Gifts

101 uses of a dead cat: ladder.

"If you ask me, wearing these things only makes them nervous."

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

Cat Reunion

Diving Cat.

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

Cat holds sign which says - Will purr for food.

Armed dogs wait for hot dog vendor.

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

"What we're looking for is someone who think outside the box?"

"Projectile hairballing."

'Oh come on! I can't be that bad!'

"But some of my best ideas come while I'm in the litter box."

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

'Oh, this will be good! He just putted into a sand trap...our litter box.'

Litter Tray Stonehenge

'I'm a lap cat. So, naturally I prefer a laptop.'

"I hate it..."

Litter Box Logistics Ltd.

'Yeah, I'm a mouser.'

"What SPF sunscreen do you suggest for lying around in a sunny spot?"

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: The Pied Piper

"Ever wonder where all those cat videos come from?"

'I don't mind you singing, but I draw the line at your banjo playing.'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Balloon

'Who did you have lick your hair?'

Owner Rolls Out Red Carpet For Large Cat

"He says he can quit anytime, but I'm starting to worry."

Man asks haughty looking cat: "And how, exactly, do you qualify as a spokesman for the feline community?"

The Curiosity Mars rover is seen killing a cat: 'Mission accomplished.'

Two cats are high off catnip.

Before you feed him/After you feed him.

"I'm used to embellished resumes, but claiming you can herd cats is a bit far fetched..."