Kitty Comedic Pillows

101 uses of a dead cat: ladder.

"If you ask me, wearing these things only makes them nervous."

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

Cat Reunion

Diving Cat.

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

Armed dogs wait for hot dog vendor.

Cat holds sign which says - Will purr for food.

'Oh come on! I can't be that bad!'

"What we're looking for is someone who think outside the box?"

"Projectile hairballing."

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

"But some of my best ideas come while I'm in the litter box."

Litter Box Logistics Ltd.

'I'm a lap cat. So, naturally I prefer a laptop.'

'Oh, this will be good! He just putted into a sand trap...our litter box.'

'Yeah, I'm a mouser.'

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

"I hate it..."

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

"What SPF sunscreen do you suggest for lying around in a sunny spot?"

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: The Pied Piper

"Ever wonder where all those cat videos come from?"

'I don't mind you singing, but I draw the line at your banjo playing.'

Man asks haughty looking cat: "And how, exactly, do you qualify as a spokesman for the feline community?"

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Balloon

The Curiosity Mars rover is seen killing a cat: 'Mission accomplished.'

Owner Rolls Out Red Carpet For Large Cat

'Who did you have lick your hair?'

"He says he can quit anytime, but I'm starting to worry."

Two cats are high off catnip.

101 uses of a dead cat: peg leg

Before you feed him/After you feed him.