Kitty Comedians Pillows

"Oh, my family used to be rich alright: my grandfather was not referred to as a "house cat", but as a "grand manor cat"..."

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

Cat Reunion

Diving Cat.

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

Cat holds sign which says - Will purr for food.

"What we're looking for is someone who think outside the box?"

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

'Oh come on! I can't be that bad!'

"But some of my best ideas come while I'm in the litter box."

Litter Box Logistics Ltd.

'Yeah, I'm a mouser.'

'Oh, this will be good! He just putted into a sand trap...our litter box.'

"I hate it..."

'I'm a lap cat. So, naturally I prefer a laptop.'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: The Pied Piper

"What SPF sunscreen do you suggest for lying around in a sunny spot?"

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

"Ever wonder where all those cat videos come from?"

'I don't mind you singing, but I draw the line at your banjo playing.'

'Glue will wreak havoc on your arteries.'

"He says he can quit anytime, but I'm starting to worry."

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Balloon

Man asks haughty looking cat: "And how, exactly, do you qualify as a spokesman for the feline community?"

'Who did you have lick your hair?'

Owner Rolls Out Red Carpet For Large Cat

The Curiosity Mars rover is seen killing a cat: 'Mission accomplished.'

Before you feed him/After you feed him.

"Then it's agreed. We'll sleep on it."

"I'm used to embellished resumes, but claiming you can herd cats is a bit far fetched..."

"I thought it would be cheaper to weed wack our shag carpet rather than replace it."

Great mouser!