Kitty Comedians Gifts

"Oh, my family used to be rich alright: my grandfather was not referred to as a "house cat", but as a "grand manor cat"..."

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

Cat Reunion

Diving Cat.

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

"What we're looking for is someone who think outside the box?"

Cat holds sign which says - Will purr for food.

'Oh come on! I can't be that bad!'

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

"But some of my best ideas come while I'm in the litter box."

Litter Box Logistics Ltd.

"I hate it..."

Hell No Kitty

Litter Tray Stonehenge

'Oh, this will be good! He just putted into a sand trap...our litter box.'

'Yeah, I'm a mouser.'

'I'm a lap cat. So, naturally I prefer a laptop.'

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: The Pied Piper

"What SPF sunscreen do you suggest for lying around in a sunny spot?"

"Ever wonder where all those cat videos come from?"

'I don't mind you singing, but I draw the line at your banjo playing.'

Owner Rolls Out Red Carpet For Large Cat

'Who did you have lick your hair?'

'Glue will wreak havoc on your arteries.'

The Curiosity Mars rover is seen killing a cat: 'Mission accomplished.'

Man asks haughty looking cat: "And how, exactly, do you qualify as a spokesman for the feline community?"

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Balloon

"He says he can quit anytime, but I'm starting to worry."

"Are you gentlemen ready to eat or would you like to bat your food around awhile?"

Great mouser!

"I thought it would be cheaper to weed wack our shag carpet rather than replace it."

We all have our jobs to do here --- You guard against burglars and I'm the food critic.

"Then it's agreed. We'll sleep on it."

Before you feed him/After you feed him.