Kitten Comedian Gifts

Diving Cat.

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

Cat Reunion

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

"She's all over YouTube."

Cat holds sign which says - Will purr for food.

"Projectile hairballing."

"There HAS to be a giant ball at the end of all this string."

'Oh come on! I can't be that bad!'

"What we're looking for is someone who think outside the box?"

"You're missing the whole gestalt of Frisbee!"

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

"But some of my best ideas come while I'm in the litter box."

Litter Box Logistics Ltd.

"I hate it..."

'I'm a lap cat. So, naturally I prefer a laptop.'

'Yeah, I'm a mouser.'

'Oh, this will be good! He just putted into a sand trap...our litter box.'

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

"What SPF sunscreen do you suggest for lying around in a sunny spot?"

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: The Pied Piper

"GPS? In case we get lost? Why would we need that? We're microchipped."

"Ever wonder where all those cat videos come from?"

'I don't mind you singing, but I draw the line at your banjo playing.'

The Curiosity Mars rover is seen killing a cat: 'Mission accomplished.'

Man asks haughty looking cat: "And how, exactly, do you qualify as a spokesman for the feline community?"

"He's a rescue, and before that he was in Vaudeville."

Cat on a psychiatrist's couch: 'Truth is, I'm not really a cat person.'

'Who did you have lick your hair?'

"He says he can quit anytime, but I'm starting to worry."

Owner Rolls Out Red Carpet For Large Cat

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Balloon

"Want to see me make him beg, roll over and shake?"