Comedian Of The Cat Kingdom Gifts

That thing you threw up was only a hairball.

Cat Reunion

Well... Tis the season to be jolly!

Diving Cat.

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

"She's all over YouTube."

Cat holds sign which says - Will purr for food.

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

"What we're looking for is someone who think outside the box?"

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

"Projectile hairballing."

"But some of my best ideas come while I'm in the litter box."

"Sorry - He's changed His mind again. Stripes on the zebra, spots on the giraffe, no stars on the lion and make the elephant bigger and the amoebae smaller."

Litter Box Logistics Ltd.

'What? I'm scratching the sofa! I'm not! And if I was? It's your fault!'

'I'm a lap cat. So, naturally I prefer a laptop.'

'Yeah, I'm a mouser.'

'Oh, this will be good! He just putted into a sand trap...our litter box.'

"I hate it..."

"What SPF sunscreen do you suggest for lying around in a sunny spot?"

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

'Go and hunt for your own lunch. Who do you think I am, Ray Mears?!'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: The Pied Piper

Cat Lover's Leap.

"Ever wonder where all those cat videos come from?"

'I don't mind you singing, but I draw the line at your banjo playing.'

Man asks haughty looking cat: "And how, exactly, do you qualify as a spokesman for the feline community?"

The Curiosity Mars rover is seen killing a cat: 'Mission accomplished.'

"No thank you - The people who live here, worship me. . !!"

"He says he can quit anytime, but I'm starting to worry."

'Who did you have lick your hair?'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Balloon

'Nice going, Mom.You ate my entire insect collection. Now I'll fail biology class at school.'

Great mouser!