Animal Kingdom Humorist Gifts

"Sorry - He's changed His mind again. Stripes on the zebra, spots on the giraffe, no stars on the lion and make the elephant bigger and the amoebae smaller."

'Isn't it enough to have long hair?'

'Go and hunt for your own lunch. Who do you think I am, Ray Mears?!'

Homosexual peacock.

'Nice going, Mom.You ate my entire insect collection. Now I'll fail biology class at school.'

City Zoo: Day Care

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

Dog Hunting Trophies.

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

"Too much concealer?"

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

'Whup - giant anaconda about to attack - quick Peg, hand me something to take care of it with.'

"Yes, one is a dog."

Hats and Food

'Jurassic Pork.'

"Scuba cow"

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

Burmese pythons discussing a complete invasion.

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

Well... Tis the season to be jolly!

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'