Kitty Comedian Pillows

"That was funny maybe three cats ago."

'We named him 'Raisin Bran.' Every morning in the litter box, it's two scoops!'

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

Cat Reunion

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

Diving Cat.

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

'Oh come on! I can't be that bad!'

Cat holds sign which says - Will purr for food.

"What we're looking for is someone who think outside the box?"

"Projectile hairballing."

"Will you stop telling me to feed the Zebras? We just ate the zebras!"

"There HAS to be a giant ball at the end of all this string."

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

"You're missing the whole gestalt of Frisbee!"

'I can tell you one thing, Madam. These ears have been neglected...

"But some of my best ideas come while I'm in the litter box."

'Yeah, I'm a mouser.'

Litter Box Logistics Ltd.

'Oh, this will be good! He just putted into a sand trap...our litter box.'

'I'm a lap cat. So, naturally I prefer a laptop.'

"I hate it..."

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: The Pied Piper

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

"What SPF sunscreen do you suggest for lying around in a sunny spot?"

"GPS? In case we get lost? Why would we need that? We're microchipped."

Fish swimming in a pint of beer.

"Ever wonder where all those cat videos come from?"

'I don't mind you singing, but I draw the line at your banjo playing.'

"He's a rescue, and before that he was in Vaudeville."

The Curiosity Mars rover is seen killing a cat: 'Mission accomplished.'

Cat on a psychiatrist's couch: 'Truth is, I'm not really a cat person.'

'Who did you have lick your hair?'

"He says he can quit anytime, but I'm starting to worry."

Owner Rolls Out Red Carpet For Large Cat