Canine Caretaker Comedy Gifts

'Well, it wasn't me.'

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

"I'm working from home today."

Bathing the dog

"Watch out, Simone's hangry - her stomach AND her throat are growling."

Dog in love

"But this time, Lucky, when I throw the ball... you bring it back!"

"Cheers mate, you've done me a solid."

"There are no bad dogs. Only good dogs who make bad choices."

A Dog's Food Pyramid.

"Thank goodness for pet doors because the alarm on my piddle clock was about to ring on the rug."

Wild animal - 1,500 years later...

"That's it - your diet starts tomorrow"

'You're hired as far as I'm concerned Edwin! And look at these guys?...They seem to really like you!...You're a natural!'

'You put him on a diet, so he put you on a diet.'

You thought YOU hated YOUR job?

"He wants a second opinion."

'I've stopped him using the exercise bike...'

'Marmaduke, have you been drooling on my cookbooks again?'

Gone to the Vet - Your Dinner is in the Dog

"Do you prefer lavender scent or strawberry?"

'I think he remembers you, Doctor.'

A mother dog in a big dog house feeding her puppies who are all in their own small dog houses.

The difference between cats and dogs.

'Good thing you called me... Yes, they've mixed worming powder with your food...'

'Maybe we should rethink this new dog door.'

'This is going to hurt me more than it will hurt you!'

"Hello? I`d like to report a missing person..."

"It took me a long time to teach him how to fetch a newspaper."

'I just had to stop by and thank you for all the advice...'

"For the last time, young man, I said 'NO'! You may NOT feed bubble gum to the dog!"

'I suggest you move to the Alps. I think that will help his itch!'

'Well, to begin with, you're going to have to get this fellow a bigger dog house.'