Pet Care Comedian Gifts

'What makes you think he's got worms?'

"Never mind how I got up here....just call the fire department."

"Satisfaction, stat!"

Armed dogs wait for hot dog vendor.

"You're missing the whole gestalt of Frisbee!"

Conversation between Dogs.

"He's a rescue, and before that he was in Vaudeville."

"Do you actually trust that thing?"

"Want to see me make him beg, roll over and shake?"

"You've had dogs, cats, birds and even a pony. . . how come your only pets that survive are fish, Arielle?"

"These days, I don't eat homework. I just install ransomware."

'Nonsense, Melvin! Who ever heard of a tapeworm that big?'

'Why do they refuse to drink water out of a bowl that's been left out for two hours, but go gaga over toilet water?'

"I wasn't dead yet."

Hang Time Fido

"For crying out loud! It’s empty!!"

101 uses of a dead cat: bagpipe

"I'm retired now"

'Can't read this one either. Think anyone would mind if I just rolled around in them?'

'Like I was saying, Angus, I'm the master, you're the dog.'

'Here's a stupid question...are you getting enough sleep?'

Why hamsters don't sleep at night.

Strictly Ornamental.

'I said - MOVE IT!'

"Sure, you used to be a YouTube sensation. But what have you done lately."

"Darling, this dog food is delicious!"

'Scalpel, dammit! Scalpel!'

'They fight like you know what.'

'If he has worms can we take him fishing?'

Now Wash Your Paws

Solving the dropping cake problem.

Extended Stay.

'Hello, my name is Charlene and it's been 3 days since I let my cat boss me around.'