Animal Care Comedic Gifts

'Okay, Claudia, you're right, next time I'll buy freshly frozen rats!'

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

Jelly I.V.

"Do you actually trust that thing?"

"I can't afford to feed you."

"You've had dogs, cats, birds and even a pony. . . how come your only pets that survive are fish, Arielle?"

"I think we feed to many vitamins to Tweety"

"I wasn't dead yet."

'Well, it wasn't me.'

Strictly Ornamental.

'Here! I saved his anal sacs for you.'

'I don't care if a person would have been treated the same way. This is not a person. This is MY DOG!"

'Well, Mr. Swine, it looks like you pulled a hamstring.'

'Now you do know she needs a bath every week and an oil change every 3000 miles?'

A dog locks a man out and sleeps in his bed.

'Scalpel, dammit! Scalpel!'

'If he has worms can we take him fishing?'

'You srow ze glove in my face?...'

'Louder, Doctor! I can't make out what you're saying.'

'A second opinion? I'm trying to think if I know any vets...'

Extended Stay.

'I see you tried giving your cat a bath, again.'

"The living room aquarium? No, I have't bee near it."

'Next we tried continuous intravenous drip fluid therapy...'

"Yes, that's water retention."

'We appreciate you loyalty to your clientele, Doctor,...

'What makes you think he's got worms?'

"Sorry we were too late. We found this lodged in the cat's throat."

'Oh, goodie! — it's about time somebody invented a flea collar!'

Mrs Claus giving Rudolph a wash

Very hungery fish jumping out of bowl to get food.