Animal Care Humor Fan Gifts

'You srow ze glove in my face?...'

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

'Oh for heaven's sake, you're a cow. Just eat grass and be happy.'

The americanisation of vulture.

Cow talking to dog: 'What...You eat your own...?!'

'Stop cracking and hulling his seeds. He's accustomed to working for his food.'

"Author does not do tricks."

'Oh Hi!'

"Mmmm! Bears hibernate in the winter. Cats can hibernate anytime we want!"

The only time cats are known to laugh.

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

Great moments in art dogs playing poker, cats playing Pictionary,

Bases loaded, no outs. And coach once again turns to his trusty golden reliever.

"Excuse me ma'am, may I help you cross the road so that I can get the answer to this dumb joke my friend keeps telling?"

"I can't decide who gets the promotion, so we'll settle it with a rope toy Tug O' War."

'Oh don't worry, we had him defanged.'

Where Shaving Cream Comes From

'After years of practicing in empty theaters, Horace's dream of becoming a soft-shoe dancer seemed as remote as ever.'

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

"Gazelle's pizza! Delivered fast and delicious... Um, you guys aren't interested in pizza are you!?"

"Don't listen to her! She's a cuckoo: what would she know about parenting?!"

Cat plays an arcade game that involves shooting at gun into a mouse hole.

"This isn't helping my migraine."

'Ha ha! No kidding! You're pretty much most people's worst enemy.'

'What happend? I thought you went to the dentist for a cleaning.'

Another Time Travel Pair o' Ducks.

'Sorry lady, can't help you: Yes, I can herd pretty much anything, but not cats, and certainly not kittens...'

'Boy, am I going to be pleased when the pregnancy is over...'

Cat leaves obedience school smiling because he got an 'F' on his report card.

"I rented out the basement."

'What's founder?'

Why giraffes hate winter

'...doomed...from here...to eter...nity...'