Horse Care Humorist Gifts

'Louder, Doctor! I can't make out what you're saying.'

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"

Mr Tom Noddy's First Day With the Hounds Pt. 4

'Where's my horse?'

'This is what Jack and me have managed to create so far...all you have to do is add your poop to the top and we have a field record!'

It is a good idea to start by learning how to mount your pony.

'I know you like your stallions tall Mary, but a clydesdale?'

The Enemy

Inappropriate horse whispering.

Never clip him yourself unless you are an expert.

Before her first dressage competition, Kate suffered from Pre-Traumatic Stress.

Show Jumping Tantrums

Polo pony

"I'd love to help but at the moment I'm saddled with this enormous mortgage."

'This is one of those 'shovel ready' jobs you hear about.'

A Few Common Ailments

"You've had dogs, cats, birds and even a pony. . . how come your only pets that survive are fish, Arielle?"

Park statues horse and rider.

Horse accidents

EAT HAY LOVE One Horse's Search for Everything

'Nonsense, Melvin! Who ever heard of a tapeworm that big?'

"Sure he's handsome. . . But I've heard he's hung like a human."

"Boy, this is the life: For a bit of riding every day, we get fed, pampered and groomed..."

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Racing - No. II - IV

"I dumped my stable companion, he was seeing another pony!"

'He thinks he's so hot but, personally, I'd rather be artificially inseminated.'

Oat Cuisine in Horse's Nosebag

And balance with practice.

'Argh! This itching is driving me crazy!'

Grump Horse and Rider

"The Badminton Horse Trials."

"...and begin."