Horse Humorist Gifts

Never clip him yourself unless you are an expert.

Oat Cuisine in Horse's Nosebag

Cheating Horse

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

'I think you're overfeeding him.'

'Those stretching exercises you have been practicing are really working!'

And balance with practice.

'I want to feel the whip'!

'Where's my horse?'

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

'He thinks he's so hot but, personally, I'd rather be artificially inseminated.'

Bit on the Side

Inappropriate horse whispering.

'I see you bit the groom whilst she was clipping you again!'

Will sing for pony nuts.

Don't look a Gift Horse in the Mouth

'I'm guessing you're not a huge fan of puddles...'

'I know you like your stallions tall Mary, but a clydesdale?'

"I'd love to help but at the moment I'm saddled with this enormous mortgage."

"Ask me about my long face."

'It's a new scent...for horsewomen! We call it 'Roadapple'.'

Horse selling second hand shoes as lucky charms.

'Uh-oh, I think my saddle's on backward. . . No wait, I'm not wearing a saddle.'

"I just wish I hadn't named her Yummy."

'Some people simply shouldn't ride stallions!'

'Beaten by a nose!'

"I dumped my stable companion, he was seeing another pony!"

Colds can be relieved by inhaling Eucalyptus.

Riding Accidents

'The holes in this hay net are getting smaller! What are you trying to say buddy?!'

Horse has sticker on rear end that says 'Honk if you want a kick in the windscreen'. Other horse says, 'Nice bumper sticker.'

Rather Smart All Round.

"We gots worms."

"I told you this would happen if the mayor banned carriage horses."

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'