Horse Race Humorist Gifts

"I thought you fancied the favourite."

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

Mr Tom Noddy's First Day With the Hounds Pt. 4

'Where's my horse?'

'This is what Jack and me have managed to create so far...all you have to do is add your poop to the top and we have a field record!'

It is a good idea to start by learning how to mount your pony.

Inappropriate horse whispering.

'I know you like your stallions tall Mary, but a clydesdale?'

The Enemy

Never clip him yourself unless you are an expert.

"They took my pellets, man, I been hitting' that lever al day, they took my PELLETS!"

Before her first dressage competition, Kate suffered from Pre-Traumatic Stress.

Show Jumping Tantrums

Lawyers Ridin' The Range: 'Happy trials to you, until we meet again!'

'Think Basics.'

A Few Common Ailments

"I'd love to help but at the moment I'm saddled with this enormous mortgage."

Polo pony

'This is one of those 'shovel ready' jobs you hear about.'

'I'm not taking any chances with the water jump this year.'

Horse accidents

Park statues horse and rider.

"Sure he's handsome. . . But I've heard he's hung like a human."

"Boy, this is the life: For a bit of riding every day, we get fed, pampered and groomed..."

Journalist Interviewing a Fallen Rider.

'He thinks he's so hot but, personally, I'd rather be artificially inseminated.'

"I dumped my stable companion, he was seeing another pony!"

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Racing - No. II - IV

"Hey, this is a marathon, not a sprint."

Oat Cuisine in Horse's Nosebag

And balance with practice.

Grump Horse and Rider