Horseracing Humorist Gifts

'Don't put any money on him. I caught him betting on the favourite.'

"I like the look of this steamer in the 2.30."

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

Man on motorbike with side kennel.

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

CLEAR!

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

Mr Tom Noddy's First Day With the Hounds Pt. 4

Snails on road - road works 'slow' sign.

'Where's my horse?'

'This is what Jack and me have managed to create so far...all you have to do is add your poop to the top and we have a field record!'

Gas tank is holding up a customer for money 'Fill 'er up!'

'It's a Volksvegan...it runs on vegetable oil!'

It is a good idea to start by learning how to mount your pony.

'Beware of SUV.'

"Don't you ever run off again to get your oil changed without telling me."

The Enemy

Inappropriate horse whispering.

Highway Advisory - Move to Arizona.

'I know you like your stallions tall Mary, but a clydesdale?'

Never clip him yourself unless you are an expert.

Show Jumping Tantrums

Before her first dressage competition, Kate suffered from Pre-Traumatic Stress.

'EXIT -Next Exit.'

"I'd love to help but at the moment I'm saddled with this enormous mortgage."

If a motorist came bursting through the doors...would he be up for damages?

'This is one of those 'shovel ready' jobs you hear about.'

Leaving New York

'Think Basics.'

A Few Common Ailments

'If I were you, I'd leave the keys in the ignition and hope someone steals it.'

Horse accidents

"Boy, this is the life: For a bit of riding every day, we get fed, pampered and groomed..."