Horse Racing Humorist Gifts

Clancy: Women and Horse-Racing

Carrying the jockey.

Golly, only about ten bucks in charge...less than I thought.

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

Mr Tom Noddy's First Day With the Hounds Pt. 4

'Where's my horse?'

'This is what Jack and me have managed to create so far...all you have to do is add your poop to the top and we have a field record!'

It is a good idea to start by learning how to mount your pony.

Inappropriate horse whispering.

The Enemy

'It appears Alzedo is toying with his opponent.'

'I know you like your stallions tall Mary, but a clydesdale?'

Never clip him yourself unless you are an expert.

Show Jumping Tantrums

Before her first dressage competition, Kate suffered from Pre-Traumatic Stress.

Lawyers Ridin' The Range: 'Happy trials to you, until we meet again!'

Polo pony

'This is one of those 'shovel ready' jobs you hear about.'

'Think Basics.'

"I'd love to help but at the moment I'm saddled with this enormous mortgage."

A Few Common Ailments

'I'm not taking any chances with the water jump this year.'

Park statues horse and rider.

Horse accidents

Journalist Interviewing a Fallen Rider.

'He thinks he's so hot but, personally, I'd rather be artificially inseminated.'

"I dumped my stable companion, he was seeing another pony!"

"Boy, this is the life: For a bit of riding every day, we get fed, pampered and groomed..."

"Sure he's handsome. . . But I've heard he's hung like a human."

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Racing - No. II - IV

"Hey, this is a marathon, not a sprint."

Oat Cuisine in Horse's Nosebag