Horse-riding Humorist Gifts

Bridgehampton Riding Academy

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"

Mr Tom Noddy's First Day With the Hounds Pt. 4

'Where's my horse?'

'This is what Jack and me have managed to create so far...all you have to do is add your poop to the top and we have a field record!'

It is a good idea to start by learning how to mount your pony.

'I know you like your stallions tall Mary, but a clydesdale?'

Inappropriate horse whispering.

The Enemy

Never clip him yourself unless you are an expert.

Before her first dressage competition, Kate suffered from Pre-Traumatic Stress.

Show Jumping Tantrums

A Few Common Ailments

'Wait a minute, this guy is missing a head Oh jeez, we're totally gonna crash,'

"I'd love to help but at the moment I'm saddled with this enormous mortgage."

'Think Basics.'

'This is one of those 'shovel ready' jobs you hear about.'

Riding instructor waits to fish a child out of jumping obstacle.

'I'm not taking any chances with the water jump this year.'

Horse accidents

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Racing - No. II - IV

'He thinks he's so hot but, personally, I'd rather be artificially inseminated.'

"I dumped my stable companion, he was seeing another pony!"

"Boy, this is the life: For a bit of riding every day, we get fed, pampered and groomed..."

"Sure he's handsome. . . But I've heard he's hung like a human."

Journalist Interviewing a Fallen Rider.

"Hey, this is a marathon, not a sprint."

Oat Cuisine in Horse's Nosebag

And balance with practice.

Grooming: Make sure your pony is securely tied.

Grump Horse and Rider