Humorist On Horseback Gifts

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Hunting - No. III

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

Bob's Driving School.

Pet psychic -- yup, she's for real.

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"

Mr Tom Noddy's First Day With the Hounds Pt. 4

'Where's my horse?'

'This is what Jack and me have managed to create so far...all you have to do is add your poop to the top and we have a field record!'

It is a good idea to start by learning how to mount your pony.

The Enemy

'I know you like your stallions tall Mary, but a clydesdale?'

Inappropriate horse whispering.

Never clip him yourself unless you are an expert.

Speed Bumps.

Show Jumping Tantrums

Before her first dressage competition, Kate suffered from Pre-Traumatic Stress.

"While you were on vacation, Zooker, a motion was made and seconded to saw five and a half inches off your chair legs."

Lawyers Ridin' The Range: 'Happy trials to you, until we meet again!'

'This is one of those 'shovel ready' jobs you hear about.'

"I'd love to help but at the moment I'm saddled with this enormous mortgage."

Polo pony

A Few Common Ailments

'Wait a minute, this guy is missing a head Oh jeez, we're totally gonna crash,'

'I'm not taking any chances with the water jump this year.'

"Your new car won't start? Oh, well, umm…that's just the car's Collision Avoidance System kicking in. It doesn't want you to hit anything today."

Horse accidents

'He thinks he's so hot but, personally, I'd rather be artificially inseminated.'

"Sure he's handsome. . . But I've heard he's hung like a human."

"Yes, you show signs of depression, but there may be a simple explanation: does your cowboy listen to a lot of country music?"

"Boy, this is the life: For a bit of riding every day, we get fed, pampered and groomed..."

"I dumped my stable companion, he was seeing another pony!"

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Racing - No. II - IV

"My records show we sent your bonus. Have you looked on your roof?"