Humorist On Horseback T-Shirts

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Hunting - No. III

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

Bob's Driving School.

Pet psychic -- yup, she's for real.

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

Mr Tom Noddy's First Day With the Hounds Pt. 4

'Where's my horse?'

'This is what Jack and me have managed to create so far...all you have to do is add your poop to the top and we have a field record!'

It is a good idea to start by learning how to mount your pony.

'I know you like your stallions tall Mary, but a clydesdale?'

The Enemy

Inappropriate horse whispering.

Speed Bumps.

Never clip him yourself unless you are an expert.

Before her first dressage competition, Kate suffered from Pre-Traumatic Stress.

"While you were on vacation, Zooker, a motion was made and seconded to saw five and a half inches off your chair legs."

Show Jumping Tantrums

"I'd love to help but at the moment I'm saddled with this enormous mortgage."

A Few Common Ailments

'This is one of those 'shovel ready' jobs you hear about.'

'Wait a minute, this guy is missing a head Oh jeez, we're totally gonna crash,'

'I'm not taking any chances with the water jump this year.'

Horse accidents

"Your new car won't start? Oh, well, umm…that's just the car's Collision Avoidance System kicking in. It doesn't want you to hit anything today."

"Boy, this is the life: For a bit of riding every day, we get fed, pampered and groomed..."

'He thinks he's so hot but, personally, I'd rather be artificially inseminated.'

"Sure he's handsome. . . But I've heard he's hung like a human."

"My records show we sent your bonus. Have you looked on your roof?"

"I dumped my stable companion, he was seeing another pony!"

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Racing - No. II - IV

"Yes, you show signs of depression, but there may be a simple explanation: does your cowboy listen to a lot of country music?"

Oat Cuisine in Horse's Nosebag