Horseback Humorist Gifts

Son, if you fall off a horse get right back on, ride to a lawyer and sue the stable.

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

No Soliciting

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

'Nothing like being your own boss, huh?'

Mr Tom Noddy's First Day With the Hounds Pt. 4

Moo! OOM!

'Where's my horse?'

'This is what Jack and me have managed to create so far...all you have to do is add your poop to the top and we have a field record!'

It is a good idea to start by learning how to mount your pony.

'Doctor, did you say 5 minutes of traction, or 5 hours?'

'I know you like your stallions tall Mary, but a clydesdale?'

The Enemy

"You can achieve anything if you put you mind to it."

Grass: We lost some good men today!

Inappropriate horse whispering.

Never clip him yourself unless you are an expert.

Before her first dressage competition, Kate suffered from Pre-Traumatic Stress.

Show Jumping Tantrums

Lawyers Ridin' The Range: 'Happy trials to you, until we meet again!'

The Cud Food Guide

'This is one of those 'shovel ready' jobs you hear about.'

"I'd love to help but at the moment I'm saddled with this enormous mortgage."

A Few Common Ailments

'Think Basics.'

The Poodle and The Twooudle.

Polo pony

'I'm not taking any chances with the water jump this year.'

Horse accidents

"Boy, this is the life: For a bit of riding every day, we get fed, pampered and groomed..."

Journalist Interviewing a Fallen Rider.

'He thinks he's so hot but, personally, I'd rather be artificially inseminated.'

"I dumped my stable companion, he was seeing another pony!"