Horse Humorists Gifts

'Your horse is sure to win now that he's got rid of that little man on his back.'

Horse vans: Horse of the Apocalypse

'This is one of those 'shovel ready' jobs you hear about.'

'Do you think your owner will get that you're not in the mood to leave the field today?'

'This is what Jack and me have managed to create so far...all you have to do is add your poop to the top and we have a field record!'

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

Mr Tom Noddy's First Day With the Hounds Pt. 4

'Where's my horse?'

Dog wiping windscreen with tail

'YAY! PATE!'

It is a good idea to start by learning how to mount your pony.

'You will never require the services of a dating agency.'

'I know you like your stallions tall Mary, but a clydesdale?'

"Hi, I'm Jamie Theakston and this is Dogs Might Fly."

Inappropriate horse whispering.

The Enemy

Leopards do change their spots

'According to his will, Tiddles left the bulk of his estate to himself. Because, he still has eight lives left.'

Never clip him yourself unless you are an expert.

Before her first dressage competition, Kate suffered from Pre-Traumatic Stress.

"Sprechen ze MOO MOO?"

Show Jumping Tantrums

'So....how many hours were you practising half pass this morning?'

No Poaching! Scrambling, Frying or Boiling.

'I'm afraid it's going to make us a laughing stock, dear!'

Santa Enjoys Venison.

A Few Common Ailments

'Who says octopuses can't tango? We were doing great until I ate the trumpet player.'

"I'd love to help but at the moment I'm saddled with this enormous mortgage."

'How come there are no DOG BURGLARS?'

Possum bungee jumping from branch with bungee tail.

'I'm not taking any chances with the water jump this year.'