Horse Humor Lover Gifts

EAT HAY LOVE One Horse's Search for Everything

'Don't they get bored going round-and-round like that all day?'

'Talk about a disastrous blind date: A quick look at her teeth told me she was a lot older than she said...'

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

'There! Now he's tied to my satisfaction and ready for surgery!'

'Where's my horse?'

'This is what Jack and me have managed to create so far...all you have to do is add your poop to the top and we have a field record!'

'I know you like your stallions tall Mary, but a clydesdale?'

Inappropriate horse whispering.

Never clip him yourself unless you are an expert.

'Wait a minute, this guy is missing a head Oh jeez, we're totally gonna crash,'

"I'd love to help but at the moment I'm saddled with this enormous mortgage."

'This is one of those 'shovel ready' jobs you hear about.'

Park statues horse and rider.

"Sure he's handsome. . . But I've heard he's hung like a human."

'He thinks he's so hot but, personally, I'd rather be artificially inseminated.'

"You're wearing it backwards."

"I dumped my stable companion, he was seeing another pony!"

Riding School: Horse eating a compendium.

Oat Cuisine in Horse's Nosebag

And balance with practice.

"So the vet says, 'If this is my thermometer, then where's my pen?' . . . Get it!? . . . IS this thing on!?"

Riding School Accidents

"Ask me about my long face."

Bit on the Side

'My mother was a race horse. My father was a stablehand who got five years for sodomy.'

Horse selling second hand shoes as lucky charms.

Don't look a Gift Horse in the Mouth

'The holes in this hay net are getting smaller! What are you trying to say buddy?!'

'Best let them know there's a couple of loose horses at the fourth!'

'Now that she is pregnant, can she have a rhinoceros injection and a Catholic operation?

'Are you playing hoofsie with me?'