Lover Of Horse Humor Gifts

'Good morning boys and girls. Today's lesson is 'running'...sounds simple, but humans make it much more complicated!'

"I wish you'd shut that door! - Were you born in a barn??"

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"

'Where's my horse?'

'This is what Jack and me have managed to create so far...all you have to do is add your poop to the top and we have a field record!'

'I know you like your stallions tall Mary, but a clydesdale?'

Inappropriate horse whispering.

Never clip him yourself unless you are an expert.

'This is one of those 'shovel ready' jobs you hear about.'

'Wait a minute, this guy is missing a head Oh jeez, we're totally gonna crash,'

"I'd love to help but at the moment I'm saddled with this enormous mortgage."

EAT HAY LOVE One Horse's Search for Everything

Park statues horse and rider.

Riding School: Horse eating a compendium.

'He thinks he's so hot but, personally, I'd rather be artificially inseminated.'

"You're wearing it backwards."

"I dumped my stable companion, he was seeing another pony!"

"Sure he's handsome. . . But I've heard he's hung like a human."

Oat Cuisine in Horse's Nosebag

And balance with practice.

Grooming: Make sure your pony is securely tied.

Don't look a Gift Horse in the Mouth

Horse selling second hand shoes as lucky charms.

Bit on the Side

'The holes in this hay net are getting smaller! What are you trying to say buddy?!'

"Ask me about my long face."

'My mother was a race horse. My father was a stablehand who got five years for sodomy.'

'Best let them know there's a couple of loose horses at the fourth!'

'Now that she is pregnant, can she have a rhinoceros injection and a Catholic operation?

'See? When we both make that little jog to the right at the last minute...'

'Are you playing hoofsie with me?'

'Do you think your owner will get that you're not in the mood to leave the field today?'