Lover Of Horse Humor Gifts

'Good morning boys and girls. Today's lesson is 'running'...sounds simple, but humans make it much more complicated!'

"I wish you'd shut that door! - Were you born in a barn??"

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

'Where's my horse?'

'This is what Jack and me have managed to create so far...all you have to do is add your poop to the top and we have a field record!'

'I know you like your stallions tall Mary, but a clydesdale?'

Inappropriate horse whispering.

Never clip him yourself unless you are an expert.

"I'd love to help but at the moment I'm saddled with this enormous mortgage."

'Wait a minute, this guy is missing a head Oh jeez, we're totally gonna crash,'

'This is one of those 'shovel ready' jobs you hear about.'

EAT HAY LOVE One Horse's Search for Everything

Park statues horse and rider.

"Sure he's handsome. . . But I've heard he's hung like a human."

Riding School: Horse eating a compendium.

"You're wearing it backwards."

"I dumped my stable companion, he was seeing another pony!"

'He thinks he's so hot but, personally, I'd rather be artificially inseminated.'

Oat Cuisine in Horse's Nosebag

And balance with practice.

Grooming: Make sure your pony is securely tied.

'My mother was a race horse. My father was a stablehand who got five years for sodomy.'

Horse selling second hand shoes as lucky charms.

'The holes in this hay net are getting smaller! What are you trying to say buddy?!'

Don't look a Gift Horse in the Mouth

Bit on the Side

"Ask me about my long face."

'Best let them know there's a couple of loose horses at the fourth!'

'Now that she is pregnant, can she have a rhinoceros injection and a Catholic operation?

'Are you playing hoofsie with me?'

'Do you think your owner will get that you're not in the mood to leave the field today?'

'See? When we both make that little jog to the right at the last minute...'