Horse Humor Seekers Gifts

Man on stilts faces horse and rider on stilts

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

'There! Now he's tied to my satisfaction and ready for surgery!'

'Where's my horse?'

'This is what Jack and me have managed to create so far...all you have to do is add your poop to the top and we have a field record!'

"Remember - you have sharp teeth and claws, but he has sarcasm."

Inappropriate horse whispering.

'I know you like your stallions tall Mary, but a clydesdale?'

Never clip him yourself unless you are an expert.

Lawyers Ridin' The Range: 'Happy trials to you, until we meet again!'

'This is one of those 'shovel ready' jobs you hear about.'

'Wait a minute, this guy is missing a head Oh jeez, we're totally gonna crash,'

"I'd love to help but at the moment I'm saddled with this enormous mortgage."

'Time ou! ... Flea!'

Park statues horse and rider.

EAT HAY LOVE One Horse's Search for Everything

'He thinks he's so hot but, personally, I'd rather be artificially inseminated.'

Riding School: Horse eating a compendium.

"You're wearing it backwards."

"Sure he's handsome. . . But I've heard he's hung like a human."

"I dumped my stable companion, he was seeing another pony!"

Oat Cuisine in Horse's Nosebag

And balance with practice.

'My mother was a race horse. My father was a stablehand who got five years for sodomy.'

Horse selling second hand shoes as lucky charms.

"So the vet says, 'If this is my thermometer, then where's my pen?' . . . Get it!? . . . IS this thing on!?"

'The holes in this hay net are getting smaller! What are you trying to say buddy?!'

"Ask me about my long face."

Bit on the Side

Don't look a Gift Horse in the Mouth

'Best let them know there's a couple of loose horses at the fourth!'

'Now that she is pregnant, can she have a rhinoceros injection and a Catholic operation?