Horse Race Humorist Pillows

"I thought you fancied the favourite."

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"

Mr Tom Noddy's First Day With the Hounds Pt. 4

'Where's my horse?'

'This is what Jack and me have managed to create so far...all you have to do is add your poop to the top and we have a field record!'

It is a good idea to start by learning how to mount your pony.

The Enemy

'I know you like your stallions tall Mary, but a clydesdale?'

Inappropriate horse whispering.

Never clip him yourself unless you are an expert.

"They took my pellets, man, I been hitting' that lever al day, they took my PELLETS!"

Show Jumping Tantrums

Before her first dressage competition, Kate suffered from Pre-Traumatic Stress.

'Think Basics.'

'This is one of those 'shovel ready' jobs you hear about.'

"I'd love to help but at the moment I'm saddled with this enormous mortgage."

A Few Common Ailments

'I'm not taking any chances with the water jump this year.'

Park statues horse and rider.

Horse accidents

"I dumped my stable companion, he was seeing another pony!"

Journalist Interviewing a Fallen Rider.

"Boy, this is the life: For a bit of riding every day, we get fed, pampered and groomed..."

'He thinks he's so hot but, personally, I'd rather be artificially inseminated.'

"Sure he's handsome. . . But I've heard he's hung like a human."

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Racing - No. II - IV

"Hey, this is a marathon, not a sprint."

Oat Cuisine in Horse's Nosebag

And balance with practice.

'Argh! This itching is driving me crazy!'

Grump Horse and Rider