Horse Rider Humorist Pillows

"I've only travelled the ten miles to town once in my life - then my horse died!"

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"

Mr Tom Noddy's First Day With the Hounds Pt. 4

'Where's my horse?'

'This is what Jack and me have managed to create so far...all you have to do is add your poop to the top and we have a field record!'

It is a good idea to start by learning how to mount your pony.

'I know you like your stallions tall Mary, but a clydesdale?'

Inappropriate horse whispering.

The Enemy

Never clip him yourself unless you are an expert.

Show Jumping Tantrums

Before her first dressage competition, Kate suffered from Pre-Traumatic Stress.

"I'd love to help but at the moment I'm saddled with this enormous mortgage."

'Wait a minute, this guy is missing a head Oh jeez, we're totally gonna crash,'

A Few Common Ailments

'This is one of those 'shovel ready' jobs you hear about.'

Riding instructor waits to fish a child out of jumping obstacle.

'I'm not taking any chances with the water jump this year.'

EAT HAY LOVE One Horse's Search for Everything

Horse accidents

"Sure he's handsome. . . But I've heard he's hung like a human."

"I dumped my stable companion, he was seeing another pony!"

Journalist Interviewing a Fallen Rider.

"Boy, this is the life: For a bit of riding every day, we get fed, pampered and groomed..."

'He thinks he's so hot but, personally, I'd rather be artificially inseminated.'

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Racing - No. II - IV

Oat Cuisine in Horse's Nosebag

Grooming: Make sure your pony is securely tied.

And balance with practice.

'Argh! This itching is driving me crazy!'