Horse Humor Aficionado Pillows

'Best let them know there's a couple of loose horses at the fourth!'

Polo.

"Not only is it a spelling mistake, I also dislike horses."

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

'The Buck Stops Here.'

'There's nothing wrong with your heart. It's your soft chocolate center.'

'Now that you've moved in and unpacked, Higgins, we'd like you to start thinking outside of the box.'

Penguin

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

Blind man feeding an empty fish tank

'I object, Your Honor! Hearsay evidence!'

'Where's my horse?'

"I've been really craving Italian food for months now. Can you grab me two kilos of rigatoni, three kilos of fettuccini, and a bigger shell? The one I have is feeling a bit too tight lately."

'Looks like the Wentworths are still on the outs.'

'This is what Jack and me have managed to create so far...all you have to do is add your poop to the top and we have a field record!'

"Did you really think you were getting in here?"

Notorious gangsters, Bunny and Clyde.

Various Birds of Pray.

Shop for cats

'I know you like your stallions tall Mary, but a clydesdale?'

"I'm here to join the riot squad: you see, I have a natural ability to disperse crowds. . ."

"In lieu of barking, he recorded a sweet diss track about you."

"She doesn't eat raw zebra... Where can we get Alaska wild salmon in cream truffle sauce in the middle of Africa?"

Inappropriate horse whispering.

Never clip him yourself unless you are an expert.

'The pats on the head are nice, but I need more compensation...'

'This is one of those 'shovel ready' jobs you hear about.'

'Wait a minute, this guy is missing a head Oh jeez, we're totally gonna crash,'

'Of course I look silly. My psychiatrist told me to come out of my shell!

Warbling on the First Date

"I'd love to help but at the moment I'm saddled with this enormous mortgage."

-'Do you have a last wish senor?' -'Yeah, I'd like to pee on your leg.'