Horse Humor Enthusiast Pillows

'Your father's on his high horse again.'

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"

'...then, after fitting the metal clamp into your mouth he puts in his whole arm...'

"Sure he's handsome. . . But I've heard he's hung like a human."

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

"Shake! Good Dog."

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

'The Buck Stops Here.'

'There's nothing wrong with your heart. It's your soft chocolate center.'

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

Penguin

After chasing the rabbit for many hours, Buster found himself very far from home indeed.

'Now that you've moved in and unpacked, Higgins, we'd like you to start thinking outside of the box.'

Blind man feeding an empty fish tank

The continuing adventures of Rex, Washington DC insider.

"Try to blame that one on the dog."

Rogue elephant

'I object, Your Honor! Hearsay evidence!'

Vulture proclaims its love for highways.

'Where's my horse?'

'This is what Jack and me have managed to create so far...all you have to do is add your poop to the top and we have a field record!'

"When I go, I’d like my ashes dumped on top of a squirrel’s head."

Notorious gangsters, Bunny and Clyde.

"I've been really craving Italian food for months now. Can you grab me two kilos of rigatoni, three kilos of fettuccini, and a bigger shell? The one I have is feeling a bit too tight lately."

'Looks like the Wentworths are still on the outs.'

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

"Did you really think you were getting in here?"

Various Birds of Pray.

Inappropriate horse whispering.

Swine flu

"Have you ever actually seen a chicken cross the road?"

"In lieu of barking, he recorded a sweet diss track about you."

'I know you like your stallions tall Mary, but a clydesdale?'

"I'm here to join the riot squad: you see, I have a natural ability to disperse crowds. . ."